Marriage

There’s this place in a marriage where you accept what you did. I can’t call it settling because that’s unkind. My husband loves me deeply. He does a fuck Ton he really doesn’t want to do because he loves me. He doesn’t look at other girls. But for fucks sake does he hold my hand? Does he care for me like i need? Hell no. I am not “happy” he doesn’t hug me, snuggle me, dote on me. But he loves me. Just in that god damn way i have no control of. I can rationally see it but it still leaves an ache in me so deep it breaks me

Confidence

There’s a woman at the gym that i cross paths with often. And by often i mean pretty much daily. Our daughters are similar in age. We both nursed until they were 2. She is so dedicated, constantly training. We talk in passing about her workouts, and in a non professional sense- i just listen usually because she has methods she likes to stick to. But she came to me a few months ago burnt the fuck out. Life & training had her down, and she wasn’t getting the results she wanted. I listened. And i said, you are someone else inspiration, take a break or make a change if you need it, but don’t you spend your time comparing yourself to someone else’s results. We parted ways and went back to our normal exchanges. Yesterday, as we swam with our girls out of coincidence, she made a point to thank me for my words. Because it helped remind her to keep going.

Confidence is something we build from the inside. It’s not in a high heel or a new lipstick or perfect arms. It’s in you. Your light shining through. No one else’s. We are all so different and it needs to be embraced, not fought.

May challenge

It’s May first! I’m using it as a chance for a fresh start. Tomorrow, I will not only make food for my daughter. I will do more than drink coffee. Even if I’m not feeling well (I don’t usually do well in the morning with food) I will make myself a smoothie. I will get myself to eat and eat healthy foods. They are right here in the house. There is no reason I care for everyone else and then just leave myself to the wind. I deserve to be cared for too. So that’s what this is about. This challenge is to better care for yourself. If your long term goal is to lose weight, maybe that means you choose to eat out less during this challenge. Or drink less alcohol. One big thing? Get some better sleep. No laying in bed with the TV on or your phone being checked. Let your body have some down time this month. Be kind to yourself! Don’t worry, I want you to choose to workout too- so if that’s where your motivation is lacking, make that part of your month. Let your choices be driven by your hopes and goals. Take a picture of yourself today. Send it to me. When the challenge is over, we are going to compare the people, the one you were, and the one you became through better habits, and more happiness.

Barre arms

You have so many options when it comes to barre arms. Here are the main sticking points though. Keep your weights between 1 & 3 lbs. Tiny movements or long series are meant for tiny weights, save the bigger weights for the big movements and longer rest breaks. I’m demonstrating 3 different positions you can use so that you a. Up your calorie burn, b. Don’t get bored, c. Keep the whole body working.

Start with push ups.

5 slow with wide hands, knees on the floor is totally acceptable.

5 regular count with wide hands.

5 tight hand/Pilates position so that elbow scrape your ribs.

5 with hands in diamond.

I’m happy to pst another video a different day to demonstrate.

Kneeling:

Knees should be fist distance apart and parallel. Toes can be curled under if it’s more comfortable to you. As you add in the lift and lower of the hips like I demo, you should be imagining your back sliding down a wall- your hips tuck under on the way down to keep them under your shoulders as best you can.

Parallel Chair:

Use the wall to slide yourself down so your hips are one inch above knee height, or as close as you can keep. Feet can be hip distance or zipped up. Heels high. Tuck your hips and press your low back into the wall.

Wide Second:

Walk your feet wider than your hips. Feet turned out toward 45 degrees (not a full turnout) so that heels are right under knees. Lower your hips down to knee height.

If one lower body option doesn’t work for you, try another. If you can do a little of each, do a little of each. If you can only do some arms with weights, do it. If you can’t do any? Focus on where the movement in coming from instead! Engage your body. Guess what? The push ups are just a suggestion. If they also don’t work for you- switch it up! These are options. Ways for you to play with your workouts. Want an exact workout to follow? Message me. I’ll make it happen. XO

Fake it till you make it

There have been a lot of times in my life where the mantra Fake it till you make it, has come in handy. When learning anything, when trying to get better at anything, when trying to get through a hard time… The situations are limitless because you are limitless. There are occasions where I have to teach but I feel like garbage, I fake it. I act like I’m fine and I do actually feel better when the class is done, it’s like I tricked my brain into forgetting my allergies were terrible. When I start a new pose, going toward it with the determination to conquer it but not really knowing if I have the strength to accomplish it… I fake it. I just do it. Even for a short time until it eventually gets easier. When my self esteem is low and all I see in the mirror are flaws, I pull myself together as best I can and pretend to be confident. No one sees your flaws like you do. Fake it, pretend you like the way you look, pretend you don’t see the little things like a hair out of place. Your confidence makes you beautiful. Not perfect features.

In most things in life, you need to have the courage to try, to learn and to grow. And sometimes that means you need to fake it till you make it. Put yourself out there.

Do not be your harshest critic- it’s silly! Life is too short and you are too lucky.

Be well. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. And always have the confidence to try.